Thursday, July 5, 2012

It's just EMOTION taking me OVER. That's it. NBD.

I actually really like the song "Emotion", even the Destiny's Child version, although the music video is an atrocity.

I might know a thing or two about emotions taking over.

I struggle with anxiety.  It stinks, but it's definitely not the worst problem in the world.  I mean, some people have no food.  Some people have no homes.  And some people are Kardashians.

So in the grand scheme of things . . . anxiety is fine.  I have done different things to learn how to cope with it.  I have taken medications.  I have gone to counseling.  I have eaten several bags of mini Cadbury eggs.

My cycle seems to be like this . . . take something on, take something else on, add another thing or two, feel productive, feel great, feel powerful, have a deadline, feel stressed, feel overwhelmed, think about everything that could go wrong, google solutions to every problem known to mankind, self-destruct, and bawl eyes out while watching a Chase Bank commercial where, thanks to a Chase Bank loan, a business was able to hire 20 new people who have been out of work for a long time.

While a missionary, I went through an extremely difficult time with my anxiety.  I even had a visit with the mission doctor.  He was visiting Romania from Germany, so I could only meet with him for a day.  Talking to him, I felt like I was talking to an old friend.  He cried with me as we shared difficult experiences we had both gone through on our missions and in our lives.

He had to leave to go back to Germany that evening, but he emailed me a psychological test to take to evaluate my struggles.  I filled out the bubble sheet and sent it back to him.  He called me very quickly thereafter.  I had scored in the 98th percentile for anxiety.  98%!  An A+, my friends!

We talked about some different options, but in the end, I felt right about just finishing my mission and seeking treatment afterward (I only had two months left.)  My mission was a wonderful experience, and I didn't want to spend the last two months trying out different medications.

Since then, I have tried different things.  I didn't like medication and was on it for just a very short time.  I have had some great counseling experiences.

Anyway, I am just writing this to get it out.  I always am surprised to see how many people relate to this sort of thing and was wondering what other people do to cope with stress and anxiety. 




2 comments:

  1. I LOVE that song. I thought of something that might be worse than being a Kardashian - being married to one. We have it pretty good. That being said, you are superwoman and I could never take on as much as you do, but it does take its toll. I am a quitter, and when I start to get super anxious, I drop something in my life. I'm not saying that's the answer, but it's how I cope. Also those Cadbury Mini Eggs really do help, don't they? I also believe that medication is not the best thing in the world, and I totally support you not wanting to be on it, but just want to make sure you know there's no shame in it. I hate the thought of being on pills forever, but I know they do help. Most of all, I recommend keeping the most important things in your life at the top of your list. Family, God, Scriptures, etc. When I try to take care of those, everything else falls in place as needed or falls away as needed.

    I love you, girl. You will figure it out. Maybe we need to take a trip to Bath, England. Isn't that how this was handled in the old days?

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  2. i think for me learning my limits to how much i can take on really helped. my calendar used to be filled to the brim, and i'd give every obligation my all until theirs was nothing left for myself. i've learned to say no now , not to everything but enough. .............that and chocolate, hehe

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