Monday, October 28, 2013

Happy Halloween, Dawgs.

Normally, Daniel and I are quite the Halloweiners. We are all talk, no walk. We spend the entire months of September and October talking about amazing costumes we want to make, knowing full well neither of us is going to spend 239847 hours and $3892749287 making the extravagant and over the top ideas we come up with.

For example, last year we gabbed up the idea of a Headless Horseman costume.  We decided that Daniel would be the Headless Horseman and that he would carry June around, who would be wearing all black, except for her head so that it would be like Daniel was carrying his head around. Funny, right? Too bad they don't give out awards for the best Halloween ideas. We would win that. Instead, we wait until . . .  October 31st at 4:00 p.m. and scour our closet for what we already own.

Which usually results in Daniel dressing like Nacho Libre (Yes, we have the stuff for that on hand. Yes, we are that cool) and me dressing up like a cowgirl or a celebrity. Not impressive.

This year, we turned into Hallowinners!  One of Daniel's co-workers gave us an outfit for June that we didn't quite know what to do with. It's a jumpsuit that says "Penn State" on it. It's also for 6-9 month olds. Luckily, June is small so it basically fit her.  With the help from some neighbors who own cooler kid clothes than we do, we came up with:

J-Dizzle the Rapper! Or J-Dawgs (tribute to BYU)! Or J-Money! We couldn't decide. You may now vote in the comments! And all several days before Halloween! We brainstormed, we planned, we executed!

Daniel and I dressed up as her security detail:

Which, yes, means that, once again, Daniel and I just scoured out closets again for ourselves this year. Baby steps, people.

Of course, I forgot to take a pic of myself, but I was also security. Just more feminine. Speaking of which, doesn't June look like such a boy in her costume? It was startling. Reference point:

 June won the Best Costume award at the party we went to Saturday night! Hallowinners!

And it feels so good.

Friday, October 18, 2013

My Ear Part II

As you may remember, I recently had some work done on my ear. It healed beautifully, and all seemed to be well. The plastic surgeon who stitched it up told me to wait 90 days before re-piercing and to make sure that the new piercing didn't overlap with the old one. In fact, the new piercing had to be above the old piercing.

When I went to get my ear pierced, the girl at Icing (I'm so the coolest girl in my middle school!) told me that she was going to re-pierce both ears because the higher re-piercing on my deformed ear (or DE) would be uneven with the piercing on my Non-Deformed Ear (or NDE).

I was excited to have my ears re-pierced because earrings are the only piece of jewelry I consistently wear. I am a dangly earring girl. I feel like that's all I need.  Especially since I am also a huge pony tail wearer. A pony tail by itself is me being lazy, but paired with earrings??  That practically changes the ponytail to an updo.  One of those fancy updos from the 90s. With lots of ringlets and tendrils.

Anyway, I was also excited to re-pierce because my brother's wedding was coming up and my sister had bought us complimentary, but non-matching, earrings to wear.  Fun!

I was only about four weeks into my new piercings, but figured I would be able to switch out the earrings for one day, the big wedding.

The morning of the day we were flying to Utah from Florida (read: a huge, long trip), I woke up and started to get ready as normal. I knew the day was going to be packed and crazy with trying to pack and not forget anything crazy. As I brushed my hair, I noticed that the earring on my DE was gone.  

Gone!?!?! How could that be? Had it fallen out? I reached up to feel the hole and realized that the earring was still inside my ear. The stud had slipped inside the piercing and my skin had scabbed over it. The back of the earring was still coming out of the back of my ear.

In other words, my ear looked like this:

Here is what NDE looked like:

Freaky, right?  And not exactly the kind of thing you want to deal with on a day you are leaving town!!

So I high-tailed it to the doc. The nurse who took my vitals kept staring at my ear, then told me the exact same thing had happened to her mother and she had to have MAJOR SURGERY.  She obviously passed Bedside Manner 101.

My doc told me he had never seen anything like it before and had no idea what to do.  He said that he wanted me to try to take the clasp off the back of the post and to do so without touching the front of my ear. I tugged on the clasp as neatly as I could, and the WHOLE EARRING came out of the back of my ear.


Then my doc turned to me and said, "That will be $500."  He's such a kidder.

He cleaned it out and sent me on my way, but not before telling me that I shouldn't pierce my ears anymore.  I am still so sad about this!

So for now, I am sporting some clip-ons from Linz's grandmother. Thanks, Marie!

Oh, and I cut bangs. Does anyone have any thoughts on my ear? Have you heard of this happening to anyone before? Did they ever to pierce again?

In other medical news, June burned her hand on my flat iron. Luckily, she had an appointment already that day to get some immunizations. We should probably just have a standing appointment with the doc everyday with the crazy happenings around here.

Here June is patiently waiting at the doc's office with her hand in ice:

She never would let me get a good pic of her burned thumb, but it wasn't pretty.

Also, I have started swimming in the Adult Masters class at the YMCA. That will be a whole different post, but June has taken to wearing my swim goggles whenever she can.

At the library during story time:

At home, with her full diaper falling out of her shorts:

Maybe she'll start a trend.

June's other new favorite things:

1.  Reading in her old car seat she is now way too big for:

2.  Her Daddy.  Daniel is officially the "Favorite Parent." June cries when he leaves for work or church meetings. She pushes me away whenever he is around. And all of this because he is "fun." Sure, he will throw her up in the air more than twice, (my all-time limit) and will read the same story to her 298374 times in all of the funny voices and will let her eat whatever she wants, but does that really make him more fun than me?

Being weirdos:

I mean, honestly, Daniel is always going to win. The other day, I asked him to bring me some ice cream. He scooped me two different kinds (both variations on chocolate) and crushed some Milky Way bars into them. I just can't compete with that sort of ingenuity. Or kindness.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Day I Cut My Hair Off and Quit My Job

For those of you that read the title of this post and immediately thought--"Oh great!  A female empowerment post!"--Think again.  There is no bra-burning in this post, though I do have some empowering experiences to write up one day.  Today is not that day. 

Instead, this is a post I am writing is a humorous tale of a girl acting like a crazy.  So, pretty much . . . the opposite of a female empowerment post.  You have been warned.  I hope you still want to be my friend after you read this.  I hope even more than that, you will want to post a crazy story of your own so that we can laugh together.  It would make me feel better to know that I am not the only girl who acts badly on occasion.

Of course, the story starts with something really important, like my own vanity.
I love long hair.  I love beautiful long ponytails and long hair that is thick and pretty and that beachy sexy look everyone is doing right now and hair that does what you want.  I do not have said hair, though I pretend every couple of years or so that I do by growing out my ultra-fine, ultra-straight hair.  The results are always disappointing because my hair just sort of hangs and does nothing that I want. 

I got to this point at the beginning of the summer and knew that it was time to give up on my hair and cut several inches off.  I had several sources confirm that this is what I should do and that this is how I look best. 

So I cut off my hair.

And I hated it.  It was only a few inches, but I was convinced I looked like a man.  And I like men and everything, but don't especially like looking like one. 

I drove home from the salon as fast as possible.  I ran through the front door of my apartment, and Daniel yelled out, "Let me see!  Let me see!"

"NOOOOOO!" I yelled.  I ran into the bathroom and put my hair up into a ponytail.  But it was a ponytail no longer.  Instead, it looks like the hind end of one of those dogs who gets its tail clipped. 

Like this:

Daniel approached me again.  "Why did you put it up?  I want to see it down!" 

With tears streaming down my face I said, "My hair looks like a dog's butt."

Daniel laughed, thinking I was being funny.  It took one look from me to assure him I wasn't.  After that, he pretty much hung out in the other room for the next couple of hours.

Meanwhile, my boss texted me a huge assignment with a deadline of 30 seconds.  Ok, so I'm exaggerating.  In all reality, the assignment wasn't that bad, but I was really bad, and could not be messed with.  In my state of mind at that time, an assignment due in three years would have sent me over the edge. 

Then he sent me a few more assignments, all due ASAP. 

Next thing I know, we were on the phone having an argument.   In the kinds of tones that no one should ever use.  And the kinds of tones that we had never ever used with each other. 

I didn't know at that time that he had just had it out with another attorney, and so he was in a bad mood too.

We both said things we didn't mean, and the next thing I knew, I was saying, "Well then, I QUIT!" 

Those words always seemed really cool and empowering in the movies.  They were not so cool at that moment.

He said back, "FINE!"  And we both hung up.

As soon as I got off the phone, I was sick to my stomach.  I ran into the other room where Daniel was hiding, burst into tears and said, "I JUST QUIT MY JOB.  I AM AN IDIOT!  WHAT WAS I THINKING?   WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOWWWWWW??!?!?"

Daniel hugged me and said, "Don't worry.  I'm sure whatever you did, it was the right thing.  I will get a second job if I need to."

He's pretty much the best.

Then there was a knock at the door.  I had a visitor, a girl from the ward.  I tried to look and act normal, but I'm sure she could tell I was crazy.

During the middle of our visit, I got a text from my boss.  I thought I would lose my lunch when I saw it was from him.  But it said, "You can still work for me if you want to."  So I texted back, "Ok."

I finished my visit with the girl from my ward and walked back into the room where Daniel was.  He said, "Guess what!?!?  I am almost halfway done with an application for a second job, and I think everything is going to work out just fine."

And then I said, "Oh don't worry, I have my job back."  Poor man.

I completed the assignments for my boss and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up, showered and did my hair.  And it really did look way better than before.  I even liked it.


Best Picture Marathon

Daniel and I do not subscribe to Netflix.  You read that right--no Netflix.  We are not noble; we are just no fun.  Actually, we are t.v. junkies, and since we can already watch stuff on Hulu, we decided that if we acquired Netflix, we would no longer leave our apartment.  We would have our groceries delivered to our house.  Self-disciplined we are not, but we are trying!  So no Netflix.

We do, however, want to watch good movies and for free.  So, we started a quest together of requesting films from our local library that have won the Best Picture Award during the past 4 decades.  Receiving the email that the movie we requested is waiting for us at our local library branch is like Christmas every week!

We watch about one a week, broken up into 30 minute increments each night.  If you know any Beck girls, you know that we fall asleep if we watch anything past 8:00 p.m.  Or, if we have had an especially big lunch, we will fall asleep at anything past 2:00.  We are fun like that.  We are you-fell-asleep-first-at-the-big-sleepover-so-now-your-underwear-is-in-the-freezer champions. 

I thought from time to time, I could post short reviews here.  Let the fun begin!

1.  The Apartment, Best Picture Winner of 1960. 

I actually watched this one by myself when we visited Utah in June. 

Plot:  Jack Lemmon is a low-on-the-totem-pole employee at a huge insurance company in NYC.  He works his way up the corporate ladder by letting his bosses use his apartment to entertain their non-wife lady friends.  But then he ends up falling for one of the lady friends . . .

Thoughts:  The movie made me really wish one (or both!) of my grandpas was alive because I would love to ask them if this is how sleazy the Boys' Club workplace was back in the 60s.  I know that these things still happen today, but not to this degree.  Jack Lemmon was fun and fanstastic.  It's pretty funny.  The movie did feel a little long though.  (NOTE: I feel like every movie is a little long, so you will be reading that a lot.)

Content:  The plot is obviously a little much for kids, but there is no sex, drugs or rock and roll. 

2.   An American in Paris, Best Picture Winner of 1951.

Plot: Gene Kelly is a starving artist who falls for his best friend's girlfriend.

Thoughts:  First, the dancing is incredible.  The music is not.  The songs are blahhh, but just look at their feet because that's where the real action is.  There is this huge long dance scene at the end that makes no sense, but just enjoy the scene.  And then the movie ends in 2 seconds after building up for 389247 minutes, so be prepared for a disappointingly quick ending.  There is a subplot that is NEVER resolved regarding a rich socialite who is in love with Gene Kelly and is sponsoring his artwork.  To sum it up--Great dancing, bad movie.  But still fun!  So watch it.

Content:  Squeaky clean. 

If you have seen either of these movies, please comment with your thoughts!!  More coming up tomorrow . . . The Ten Commandments, Around the World in Eighty Days, Awakenings, and more!  Hold on to your seats . . . or just thanks for humoring me.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Ebony and Ivory Reunion--May 2013 Edition

Last week, June and I visited Heidi and the gang (not to be confused with Kool and the Gang).

 It had been 10 months since I had flown with June, and I was nervous.
And had every reason to be.

In order to make the trip easier, I decided to fly sans stroller and car seat, since Heidi has extras.  I managed to pack everything into one suitcase, which we checked.  So it was just June and me and the diaper bag.  Easy, right?

If you are into new, creative exercises, here's one for you--hold a 20 pound weight with one hand while unbuttoning pants and using the restroom.  We call it The Lopsided Squat.

June screamed the entire plane ride which, luckily, was only one hour.  Once Heidi picked us up, the fun began and never stopped.

We went on an epic shopping trip to the outlets, where Blythe insisted on driving the empty stroller.

I always say--Shopping with babies is convenient.

We bought reinforcements:

Plain M&M’s and Reese’s Pieces.  The best combo ever.

Throughout the week, Heidi was stopped multiple times and asked if these girls were her twins.  (No one asked me because I don’t look responsible enough.)  She would say, "These are twin cousins!"

Blythe and June, hereinafter referred to as “TC” (Twin Cousins) or “Blune” could not look more different.  Just like their moms!!  Ebony and Ivory: The Second Generation!  Blythe is dark and June is fair.  Blythe’s head is square-shaped, and June’s is long and narrow.  Blythe says “Hi! Hi! Hi!” and June just keeps the same confused look on her face all of the time.

They were bff all week!  They got along like champs.  They made messes together, ate together, pooped together (one morning was not-so-affectionately named “The Poopacolypse.”  I seriously considered making shirts that said “I survived Poop Storm 2013.”), climbed the stairs together, fell down the stairs together, took bubble baths together, slept in the same room, and wore each other’s clothes.  I can’t wait until they are roommates in college!  They are both happy, sweet girls.  And Blythe was even kind enough to forgive June’s horrible biting habit.  And even bit June back once.  And we were all kind of glad.

Every place they went looked like this:

June is working on fulfilling her mother's dream of being the female drummer in a male band.  Get ready for the count off!

Heidi and I both commented several times throughout the week how we didn’t comprehend how people have twins.  Just figuring out how to pick them both up made my brain have a tiny explosion.

I had so much fun with the big kids too.  Everyday when they got home, we would do homework, jump on the trampoline, play the piano and sing, and read lots of books.

Doing homework:

Reagan and I went on an “adventure” in the backyard.  Reagan is so imaginative.  He can turn the backyard into a jungle or forest in no time.  He loves to record his adventures on his Leap Pad and watch the recordings.  On our adventure we found a “snake pig”.  I don’t know what that is, but we had a great time!

Scarlett is stunningly beautiful and excited about everything!  She loves school, loves her friends, loves Blune and loooooooveeesssssss to play "Lion" on the trampoline (I am the lion and get to chase kids until I pass out).  When asked what she wants to be when she grows up, she said, "I want to adopt babies and work in a building."  I think that sounds great.

On Friday, we watched a movie, and Scarlett danced to the closing credits:

And then Reagan put an end that that.

Anytime we were in a hurry, the garage wouldn’t close.  Heidi spent a lot of time trying to figure it out while I spent a lot of time waiting in the car and taking pictures of her exasperated face.  She tried fixing it:

And when that didn’t work, she just stared at it in this position for about 10 minutes.

And then she would pull it down.

I should make documentaries.

One day we went and bought Cold Stone.  Someone’s face was cut from this photo to protect the innocent.

And there was just a lot of silliness in general:

How'd that get in there?

Man, I miss those people.  Love you, Simpsons!  Thanks for hosting us!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

June is a Swimming Prodigy

For the past five weeks, June has participated in "Baby Genius Swim Class" at the YMCA, also known as "Baby Swim Class", also known as "It's Been Five Weeks, and My Baby is No Closer to Swimming Class."

True to its title, this class is not so much centered around swimming as it is helping babies become more comfortable with being in the water.

Yesterday was her last class, her "graduation" you might say.  It was without ceremony, as is probably best for young babies.  A fellow classmate screamed and cried the whole time.  June, whose prime Baby Swim Class event is pushing herself off of the side of the pool into my arms in the pool, refused to do so.  Another baby girl, who is the only baby in the class that can stay on her back for an extended period of time, kept flipping over to her belly.  It's like all of the babies reverted back to how they were the first day of close to honor their teacher's efforts over the past five weeks.  How special.

As for her highest achievements, June can:

 1.  Hold herself up at the side of the pool.

2. Stay afloat while her mom makes weird faces.

3.  Stay under water for two seconds (apparently while Dad holds his breath for her).

 4.  Pull off a midriff-baring bathing suit better than anyone I know.

5.  Tolerate affection from her fans.

Yay Junie!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Spring Break and June's Birfday

We had visitors for June's birthday.  My cousin Cami is a high school senior, and her family brought her and a friend, Mallory, down for their last Spring Break with her.

Uncle Sherm and Aunt Susan and Tanner and Devon stayed in a hotel in Clearwater, but Cami and Mallory wanted to do their own thing and so they stayed with us.

Let's review . . . staying in a hotel near Clearwater Beach . . .


Sleeping on our fold-out couch . . .

They obviously made the right choice.

I had SO much fun with these girls.  They couldn't get away from me.  As much as I love being married, I do miss the gigglefests and ridiculousness that comes with having fun females around.  We would stay up late (past 10) and play uno or watch movies.  Daniel reminded me that I am no longer 18 more than once during the week.

If my own daughter(s) end up like Cami and Mallory, I can die happy.  They are confident, beautiful, smart, and low-maintenance.  And super helpful with June.

And they let me pick the movies we watched.

This is my exact movie cover.  Can we please discuss the fact that SJP's hair never looked like that in the movie?  And look at their heads!  Obviously just pasted pics of them onto some bodies.  Creepy.

And . . .

Sigh.  Both classics.

Cami and Mallory didn't seem to share the appreciation for these movies.  While I was laughing hysterically at scenes I have seen 398247 times, they watched silently.  I offered to rewind certain parts because they didn't seem to realize how funny they were.  They declined.

I also wanted to watch Goonies, and they asked, "Is that like the other two we watched?"  I took the hint.  Not everyone loves the 80s like I do.

Hanging out with family was so fun.  We went boating with them and out to eat, and they even helped us celebrate June's bday.

I had my friend, Tara, make the cake:

I took a photo of the top of it, but the pic won't load onto the computer.  But, to give you an idea, here is the smash cake:

Isn't that so cute?  She even made the chicks herself!  

Please note my amazing photography skills.  June waiting in the background foreshadows the upcoming event of:

I received mucho flako from the hubs and extended family about bringing her tub to eat it in.  But I still think it was a good idea.  Easy clean-up!

Thanks to Sherm, Susan, Cami, Mallory, Tanner, and Devon for coming to visit us!  We had so much fun with y'all.  I just can't believe I don't have a single photo of us all together!

Some odds and ends:

What is a dad to do when Baby's shoes won't stay on?  Tape them, of course!

Another example of my photographic genius.  I always say--There should be more vacuums in photos!

June playing with the present Sherm and Susan gave her.  She loves it.

I hate selfies, don't you?  Plus this is how mine turn out.

Happy Birthday, June!