Sunday, June 22, 2014

Sunday with a Side of Crazy

This morning, I was woken up at 5:30 a.m. by a frazzled husband speaking the following frazzled words:

“Heather, I woke up with pink eye, and I need medicine, and I can’t stay home from church because I have to give my talk and I have to get medicine before I fly out to Chicago this afternoon, and the printer isn’t working, and I need to print out some stuff for my talk, and I think June took my debit card out of my wallet, and I can’t find it anywhere.”

Good morning! I jumped out of bed and started trying to help resolve problems immediately. I fixed the printer problem, looked up urgent care clinics and hours, whipped up breakfast and searched for the missing debit card. Search on that one still pending. We know it’s here, but where? June loves a good game of hiding important stuff.

Pink eye is a problem we seem to encounter frequently. I blame myself honestly, because I always wear my contacts longer than I should, and Daniel has followed my example since he started wearing contacts a year ago. I hereby resolve to throw away my contacts every two weeks like I am supposed to! This time wasn't just typical pink eye, though. I swear Daniel’s eye was the brightest red I have ever seen. I contemplated taking a picture, but it was just painful to even look at.

One thing I have learned with contacts and with many things in life is that sometimes you really do get what you pay for. The other thing I have learned is that I love a good list-making activity. Sometimes when my bff Linz and I are bored, we will come up with lists for things like “All the restaurants we would eat at if we were to go on a trip together” or “Trendy foods we don’t understand people liking” or “The Top Ten Worst Date Activities Ever.” It is great fun. So I now invite you to join in on making a list with me called “Things that are Worth Spending Extra Money On.” The first one for today is name brand contact solution. Ever since I started using it, my eyes have looked and felt so much better. Daniel has been using some generic stuff we had leftover, but I think he will now convert to the good stuff.

Don’t get me wrong—I am a total cheapo who loves buying generic brand things. But some things aren’t worth it. Like hair elastics. Once I bought these:

And now I can’t go back. They are the best and feel good in my hair. What do you think is worth the extra money? And what do you think is better generic? For example, I buy Sam’s Club diapers for June. Every time I buy Huggies or Pampers, I am disappointed.

Wow, that was really off topic. Back to my frazzled morning. Daniel finally got all of his talk stuff together and a few addresses for urgent care clinics he could visit after Sacrament Meeting but before he had to board his flight and then he was ready to head off to his early morning meetings. I woke up June, and she threw the WORST tantrum in the history of tantrums. And I have read the book History of Tantrums, so I would know.

I was even more frazzled by this point, but did not forget the many requests I have had for pregnancy pictures. I have successfully avoided posting (or even taking) any pregnancy photos thus far, but have reached 35 weeks and no longer care much. So here is the moment you have been waiting for. The big reveal.

Haha. Fooled you! Ok so maybe you wanted to actually see The Bump. Here goes.

 Whoa Nelly, Belly!

And straight on...

Isn’t this dress awfully good? It’s clearly crazy and terrible, but so much so that I actually like it. I bought this dress at Ross before I was even pregnant with June. It caught my attention, and I couldn’t get away from it. It’s like chocolate cereal—so gross and yet so good. And it has been one of the few dresses I can wear when I’m not pregnant but also when I am 9 months pregnant. The swirl on my belly serves as a sort of snake charmer. People in the halls at church try to look away and yet can’t resist being entranced by it. It’s my belly’s way of hypnotizing people into bringing me bowls of ice cream without my uttering a single word.

Plus, I always think one should be prepared, and if I ever get invited to attend a singles cruise for ages 50+, I am wearing this baby. (Not the belly, the dress.)

And here is my impression of The Obnoxious Selfie everyone seems to be taking these days.

Anyway, between the pink eye/debit card/printer/tantrum filled crazy morning, by the time I got to church, I was ready for bed. I play the organ for my ward, and it took me halfway through the opening song to realize that I was playing the music in cut time. (Imagine singing “The Day Dawn is Breaking” as fast as you can. Invigorating!) I finally slowed myself down so at least the Sacrament hymn was reverent though.

Primary was a whirlwind of activity, and when I picked up June from nursery, the leaders kindly let me know that it had not been her best day. I was letting all of these little, unimportant things really get to me, and I was feeling kind of crazy.

When I got home from church, I found myself reading the following quote about hope. It is taken from the LDS church’s missionary manual, Preach My Gospel. It says:

"Hope is an abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promises to you. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance. It is believing and expecting that something will occur. When you have hope, you work through trials and difficulties with the confidence and assurance that all things will work together for your good. Hope helps you conquer discouragement. The scriptures often describe hope in Jesus Christ as the assurance that you will inherit eternal life in the celestial kingdom."

It really made me stop and think. Anyone who knows me knows that I do NOT handle stress well. At all. When Daniel told me he had pink eye, my first thought was, “Well you CAN’T!" closely followed by “How much is this going to cost?” We had just discussed finances and our budget the night before, which resulted in great resolve in both of us to do a better job of saving money, and now MY PLAN WAS RUINED.

I rarely see a problem and think, “Well okay. We can work through this. It will all work out.”

Realizing this, I turned to Daniel and said, “I’m a hopeless disciple.” He looked shocked and said, “No, you are NOT!” I quickly explained what I really meant—not that my case is hopeless. Because it isn’t. The Savior suffered so that we can all be saved. There is definitely hope for everyone! But what I meant is that I, me personally, my mental state, is one that doesn’t hope for things that I should. That I need to learn HOW to hope. I read the quote out loud to him, and he started laughing and admitted he could see my point. That quote is pretty much the opposite approach I have to handling things. Daniel is always asking me to calm down and deal with problems rationally.

It made think that true hope is the kind of peaceful reassurance we can obtain when things aren’t going right. That we can obtain a certain comfort in the constant discomfort that comes from living in an imperfect world full of adversity. I am so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ that teaches me to reach above myself and how I react to things naturally and to put my trust in Him and to learn how to react to hard situations better. Not that pink eye is a HUGE problem. But just an example.

Wow, did this post just turn serious or what? I just felt like I needed to get it out there. Please feel free to add any thoughts you may have.

And lastly, a pic of June with the latest Winn Dixie ad. Buy one, get one free pot roast? The girl knows a good deal.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

The Doomed Shopping Trip.

June and I went to Target and Publix today to take advantage of some good deals going on (Buy one, get half off Aveeno products? Yes please.) It was a battle deciding whether or not to even go, since I was looking pretty haggard today. I taught piano lessons and worked from home today, and then a rainstorm canceled our swimming trip last minute. So I still hadn't showered, was wearing my old lady glasses because my allergies were acting up, was sporting Daniel's basketball shorts and old t shirt because of my protruding belly, and was just in a general state of unwashed grossness. Plus, it's summer in Florida, so I'm always sweating. Little Girl June wasn't in much better shape than I was, still wearing pajama bottoms and a random t-shirt, hair uncombed and constantly trying to shed her shoes. I promise we aren't always like this. I'm actually a firm believer in the idea of the daily shower and am an avid fan of regular hygienic practices, but today just got the best of me. But since I was only buying two things at each store, I decided just to brave it and be done with it.

Target was fine at first. I forgot to bring June's hallowed no-spill water bottle in, and she eventually caught on and was quite upset. I finally gave in and bought her a bottle of water, but before I gave it to her, we had a serious talk about drinking the water, not playing with it. June solemnly nodded and agreed to the deal, then took the bottle out of my hands and poured it all over herself and the cart. And then cried harder. It was excellent.

By the time we pulled up to Publix, I was ready to give up and go home. June was still upset, the humidity was causing my glasses and shorts to fall of my body (haha, but really), June's water bottle rolled under the car and I had to get on my hands and knees to retrieve it, and then the icing on the cake: my flip flop broke.

Then I was really ready to go home, but by that time I was already close to the door of the store. There I was, Pregnant Quasimodo Lady, shuffling along my broken shoe, pushing June my in the cart, sweating to death which caused my glasses and pants to fall down, when I was reminded why I shop at Publix. An employee who was gathering carts, who might be 800 years old, came up to me, talked to me about my shoe and ran ahead inside to see if Publix sells flip flops. I LOVE PUBLIX. I don't know if we can ever move from this region of the country because Publix is the grocery store from heaven.

They didn't end up having any flip flops but several employees asked to see how they could help me through the store. Plus, the Publix bakery always comes to the rescue when June is a screaming banshee because of their free cookies. You can't even see the cookie because she eats treats like her mama.

There is that blasted water bottle.

I was at Wal-Mart yesterday and was just glad that this whole episode didn't take place there. No employee would have come to my rescue, because I never see a single employee while I am there. Oh Wal-Mart. I hate you and yet I shop at you all the time. Because of your low prices. I am a hypocrite. But you are like the date a girl says yes to in college because she is starving and wants free dinner, not an enjoyable experience.

Tomorrow is a new day, fresh with no mistakes in it. And possibly even a shower.

Monday, June 16, 2014

I AM Grateful, Darn it!

Heather Jolley, Pity Party For One! Every party has a pooper; that's why you invited me, PARTY POOPER!!!! (GEORGE BAHNKS! name the movie).

Though I have been determined since the beginning of this pregnancy to be one of those girls who runs the entire pregnancy and lifts heavier weights than ever and the girl who doesn't let anything in this pregnancy hold her back, I have been humbled to the dust. Pregnancy hurts, folks.

I am approaching 35 weeks am feeling large and in charge. And exhausted. And tired of going to the bathroom (6 times during church yesterday). And I have found myself talking about my woes A LOT. As I was talking about my aches and pains at a ward beach party this past Saturday, I found myself getting very irritated with an annoying voice I heard over and over again. Suddenly, I realized it was MY voice, droning on and on in a negative tone. Whiny voices are the worst, right? As Daniel and I walked to the car, I told him that I was sick of hearing myself complain and that I was going to start telling myself to SHUT UP already.

And then I started thinking about gratitude. Frankly, I have SO MUCH to be grateful for.

1. First off, I am grateful for FREE STUFF. Like this recliner:


This recliner is disgusting. And sad. And old. And needs to be thrown away. Big time. It came free with a couch we bought off Craigslist. At that time, it had only started to peel its fabric and was no big deal. Now, it is worse than a shedding dog, and I am constantly vacuuming around it. So we are going to throw it away. But I am grateful for it because when Daniel threw out his back a few weeks ago, this was the only chair he could sit in that felt comfortable while he was working from home. It was a huge lifesaver. Thank you, gross and disgusting chair! We are still going to throw you out, but I will think of you somewhat fondly after you are gone.

More free stuff. My friend Nicole gave June a bunch of headbands her daughter has outgrown. I didn't know how June would react to the headbands, but she LOVES them. They have provided hours of entertainment. She picks up a headband, puts it on, runs to the mirror and then gasps and exclaims "SO PRETTY!" That sort of self-confidence cannot be learned; it's innate. haha.

June likes to wear her headbands a la Cinderella, covering her ears.

As seen here:

2. Friends. I have the best dang friends in the universe.

First off, my friend Linz sent me the best baby shower present ever. Something for ME! Sandals from Nine West I have been coveting ever since she visited Florida and we went shopping at the outlets together. I looked at these shoes, tried them on, envisioned what I could wear them with and then left them at the store, telling myself I would be proud of myself for not buying them. How wrong I was! These shoes were the "one(s) that got away." Since that trip, I have kicked myself (barefoot, of course--no shoes!) because of how many things I own that would look great with them. Linz was my listening ear as I told her of my woes. Next thing I know she had found the shoes at an outlet in Vegas and sent them to me. That is true friendship. Now if I can just get June to let me borrow them sometime . . .

And I have a lot of other great friends too. Just recently, I hosted a little play date at the pool at my complex. The sky looked terrible that day, and my friend Kristin kept worrying it was going to rain. I still made us forge ahead to the pool to swim. We were not in the pool .05 seconds before it started storming, and we were at least a ten minute walk back to the apartment (longer if you consider that we had three 2-year olds with us and a newborn). The laundry facility next to the pool was locked, and of course I didn't have a key. We found that the men's bathroom was unlocked and took up residence there for awhile. My friend Cari, mother of the newborn with us, needed to nurse so Kristin ran back out in to the rain to get a pool chair for Cari to sit in and nurse. We all unpacked our kids' lunches and shared our food and tried to prevent the kids from eating grapes that had fallen onto the floor of the men's room. With little success. The kids were like ferocious animals over the goldfish crackers I brought, and we had several crying fits to deal with. Bleah. We weathered the storm, and I felt such a kinship with these girls who would laugh at this situation with me.

Looking scared and alone in the corner of the men's room.

 They are thinking--"That Heather sure knows how to throw a party!"

Cari holding her newborn and trying to comfort her 2 year old. Behold my future.

3. June. Being alone together (oxymoron) all day, June and I kind of drive each other nuts. That being said, she is my favorite companion (besides Daniel), and we have a blast together.

She loves swimming. And we go a lot. So much so, that whenever we get home from any errand, she thinks we are going swimming and thus runs into her room, takes off her clothes and attempts to put her swimming suit on.

I am glad she likes swimming. It is my main activity during Florida summers.

She even let me put a full-fledged pony tail in her hair recently. She was my date to a baby shower. The pony tail was done for by the time we reached the party, but at least I have documented proof that it actually happened.

What a doll.

And last, but DEFINITELY not least:

4. Daniel. What a flipping stud. I love this man. Kissy kissy!

I haven't been sleeping too well due to restless legs and heartburn, so my Father's Day started at 3 a.m. I meandered around the apartment, read a few things and then finally put breakfast in the oven.

Baked French Toast. Not very good, actually. But Daniel kept smiling and saying, "I like it." Not--"I LIKE IT!!!" but "I like it." Which was how I knew he didn't really like it. But at least he tried to fake it.

By the time breakfast was done and we were ready for church, I was ready to go back to bed. But I didn't! 

Here is the man of the day:

He can tie his tie, even when a blurry photo is being taken!!

He puts up with a ridiculous amount of obnoxiousness!!

I love him!

There's the update.