Wednesday, June 18, 2014

The Doomed Shopping Trip.

June and I went to Target and Publix today to take advantage of some good deals going on (Buy one, get half off Aveeno products? Yes please.) It was a battle deciding whether or not to even go, since I was looking pretty haggard today. I taught piano lessons and worked from home today, and then a rainstorm canceled our swimming trip last minute. So I still hadn't showered, was wearing my old lady glasses because my allergies were acting up, was sporting Daniel's basketball shorts and old t shirt because of my protruding belly, and was just in a general state of unwashed grossness. Plus, it's summer in Florida, so I'm always sweating. Little Girl June wasn't in much better shape than I was, still wearing pajama bottoms and a random t-shirt, hair uncombed and constantly trying to shed her shoes. I promise we aren't always like this. I'm actually a firm believer in the idea of the daily shower and am an avid fan of regular hygienic practices, but today just got the best of me. But since I was only buying two things at each store, I decided just to brave it and be done with it.

Target was fine at first. I forgot to bring June's hallowed no-spill water bottle in, and she eventually caught on and was quite upset. I finally gave in and bought her a bottle of water, but before I gave it to her, we had a serious talk about drinking the water, not playing with it. June solemnly nodded and agreed to the deal, then took the bottle out of my hands and poured it all over herself and the cart. And then cried harder. It was excellent.

By the time we pulled up to Publix, I was ready to give up and go home. June was still upset, the humidity was causing my glasses and shorts to fall of my body (haha, but really), June's water bottle rolled under the car and I had to get on my hands and knees to retrieve it, and then the icing on the cake: my flip flop broke.

Then I was really ready to go home, but by that time I was already close to the door of the store. There I was, Pregnant Quasimodo Lady, shuffling along my broken shoe, pushing June my in the cart, sweating to death which caused my glasses and pants to fall down, when I was reminded why I shop at Publix. An employee who was gathering carts, who might be 800 years old, came up to me, talked to me about my shoe and ran ahead inside to see if Publix sells flip flops. I LOVE PUBLIX. I don't know if we can ever move from this region of the country because Publix is the grocery store from heaven.

They didn't end up having any flip flops but several employees asked to see how they could help me through the store. Plus, the Publix bakery always comes to the rescue when June is a screaming banshee because of their free cookies. You can't even see the cookie because she eats treats like her mama.

There is that blasted water bottle.

I was at Wal-Mart yesterday and was just glad that this whole episode didn't take place there. No employee would have come to my rescue, because I never see a single employee while I am there. Oh Wal-Mart. I hate you and yet I shop at you all the time. Because of your low prices. I am a hypocrite. But you are like the date a girl says yes to in college because she is starving and wants free dinner, not an enjoyable experience.

Tomorrow is a new day, fresh with no mistakes in it. And possibly even a shower.


  1. I am SO GLAD you blogged this. What a crazy story! I loved your college girl date analogy. Spot on. I am always angry in Walmart. Always.

  2. hahahaha. i've been in that pregnant state, too. i vividly recall a last outing before jane was born wearing a gigantic tshirt my dad had sent me that said "kiss me i'm a bulldog" on it because there was NOTHING else that fit me. and i went out in public like that with my little ones. i even went into a REAL restaurant wearing it because i really NEEDED cheesecake factory. hahaha. i always like to think that the embarrassing things in life create the funniest memories. :)

  3. What girl would ever do that in college?

    Because that's the best idea ever.

    And this is the best story ever. And I have to grocery shop today, but at Walfart. Smell ya later.

  4. This was a great post. Especially since I guarantee when you're all done with this kid-having business you wont remember this unless you read it written down. Plus, it is so fresh in your memory you can really visualize how it went down through your description. Today I read a blog post where a mom described motherhood as being, "unglamorous." Boy is it true.

    Also, I really love your blog.

  5. You are awesome. Best story ever. And we have all been there!