Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Prison Break, aka Spring Break

We are quickly discovering that Duval County is a "go big or go home" sort of place. It is made up of one city, Jacksonville. Did you know that Jacksonville is the biggest city by area in the contiguous United States? 'Tis true!! There are about a million trillion kids at June's elementary school, and I think the only way they can convince people to work there is by offering generous breaks. June had 11 days off for Spring Break.

The first day, I let the girls chill, which is right up June's alley. She will make a great senior citizen traveling through Europe someday.

On day 2, we went to Tampa for a couple of days so I could retrieve the infamous package I sent to my neighbor when we first moved here. It was so fun to see our favorite Tampons. I dreaded coming back because I knew what I had to do with the remaining several days of Spring Break.



Oof. Two seemingly innocent words that cut me to the very core. June is quite the Stubborn Sally and has shown 00000 interest in using the potty. She has done it a few times, but just doesn't want to. Before you leave your comment with your suggestions of a sticker chart, toy bribe, skittles-every-time-you-sit-down method, please know that all theories have been attempted. It doesn't matter much when your child does not care one bit about any of those things.

Anyway, at my last IEP meeting with her teacher, Mrs. Spann said it was time. You know, since June turned 4 on Saturday, and all of her friends were potty trained when they were 2.

So I let June run around nekked and free as a jail bird, bribing her with the ipad every time she would sit on the potty. And on the potty she sat. And held it.

She held it all day until Dan came home and I went to mutual. When I got home, I found out that his night had been horrendous, with June both peeing and throwing up everywhere. Poor girl. But really, poor Dan.

The next day started out great. June went on the potty twice. That was around 10:30 a.m. Then she proceeded to hold it until after lunch the next day. It pained me to watch her. I begged her to use the potty. I was shocked when her bed wasn't wet when she woke up. She cried. I cried. She put a piece of tape "down there" as a band-aid because "i hurt". She threw up again.

Finally she went. In the potty. Sweet victory.

She has made it through the night dry ever since. But has pretty much stopped caring about being wet and gross. I have her sit on the potty first thing every morning and she refuses to go. Then I put on her panties, and one minute later she is wet. Luckily, I've been super patient and loving during this whole process. Notttttttt.

Honestly, Gwen shows more interest in using the potty than June.

We stayed at home a ton over Spring Break, which is not my favorite. But we needed to be close to the potty so that June could choose not to use it. I was going a bit stir crazy, but one day we had fun painting.

June paints two things: 1. blobs of color until they turn brown and 2. the sun.

"Brown: A Color Study."

2. "The Sun. I Once Put A Band-Aid Where The Sun Don't Shine."

June's 4th birthday was also over Spring Break, and it was a nice reprieve from the potty training. I had not left the house in three days and decided to brave it by taking June out to brunch with my visiting teachers. Let's just say that June really left her mark at Panera. Later that day, she went to see her first movie in a theater, "Zootopia."

The endless sugary baked goods for her birthday proved all too much just before dinnertime.

Have you read the Berenstain Bears book, Too Much Birthday? There was a bit of that going on around here. Turns out you can still be put in time out on your birthday.

By the time we were ready to serve June's birthday dinner of choice, hamburgers, I found her like this.

Happy Birthday, June. You are my match in stubbornness and also the funnest girl in the room at any given moment (except for maybe this one).

Easter was the next day, and I wanted to celebrate it with our closest friends here in Jacksonville, the Spragues. They have a large family (9 of the coolest kids you'll meet) and so we decided to take dinner to our neighborhood park.

About an hour before, I was warming the ham and making the glaze, when June had an accident and needed help. I changed her pants when the smoke alarms went off, and smoke filled the entire house. The glaze was burned to where it was just ashes. The whole house stank so badly. The commotion freaked Gwen out, who ran into the garage and slipped and fell on some oil and hit her head. After which, June had another accident in her pants. Needless to say, I was feeling very relaxed when it was meal time. Dan left a few minutes before I did with all of the eggs for the hunt. He had them hidden just in time when the Spragues and the girls and I showed up. We set out all of the food and the kids started their hunt, just as it started to POUR rain. We collected as many eggs as we could, plus the food, plus 11 kids and headed to my smoke-smelling house and ate on the floor like the drowned rats that we were. And my ham was really dry.

You know you have found the right kind of friends when they don't blink an eye at something like that.


  1. I'm crying. That was so funny. I'm so sorry. That sounds like the worst spring break EVER. Worse than the spring break where I was the sickest I'd ever been in my life all week and then I had to take a test and I failed it.

  2. Um you are really good at keeping things quiet. I didn't hear about half of this stuff. The piece of tape where the sun don't shine is my new favorite - yet super sad - story. You are a warrior. A true warrior.

  3. Also, I think June deserves a medal for holding it over 24 hours. I have never done that.

  4. I can't wait for potty training! It sounds like the breeziest breeze. I have never cooked a ham, but I imagine it would go something like that.

    Also, Sarah and Bonnie have both confirmed for the Peterson Beck Disney Star Wars reunion cruise. So reserve your tickets for 2025.

  5. But really, what about a sticker chart?

    Im glad you found the spragues. I bet she will be a pretty sympathetic ear.