Tuesday, April 26, 2016


Real quotes from the past couple of weeks:

June: Mom! Poop smells GOOOOD!

June, on repeat, for 50 straight minutes at gymnastics (you know, while all of the other kids are actually participating): I'M RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER!

Me: June, should we march out to the car?
June: Yes! March! March! March! March! March Twenty Six! (her birthday)

It's been awhile. It's mostly due to the fact that I've been pondering many deep subjects about which I wish to execute a pensive, thought-provoking discussion. It's an election year, you know. Much to discuss. Like why Gwen is constantly covered in welts, scratches, snot and stinky diapers.

Little girl played in the backyard a loooong time yesterday while I caught up on important reading (catalogs that had come in the mail from which I took pictures of everything I don't want for Mother's Day and sent them to Heidi, so we could mock them) and when I looked up, I would find her and June filling up old plastic Easter eggs with rain water that had pooled in the back of her plastic car and trying to drink them, chasing her "pet" lizards, gathering sticks and throwing them across the yard and other festivities. This girl is a wild one. This morning when she got up, she had a few huge bug bites on her hands and legs and a puffy eye that got better as the day went on. And after throwing a caterpillar in the garage at me, she was just as happy and scrappy as could be.

I don't know if you can see how swollen her already-chubby little hand is, but that's a bug bite there.

In other Gwen news, it's always a delight taking her to wait with me during June's gymnastics class. Gwen climbs all over everything, trying to have her own gymnastics class, but we won't call it that in case they charge us more.

My face and attitude each week quickly descend from happy to frazzled to downright frustrated within the hour time frame. And then we have to leave, which involves my dragging two limp 25-pound noodles across the parking lot.

She's definitely not a baby anymore and can even sport a ponytail. So cute for my scrappy little Scout-like (To Kill A Mockingbird) girl.

Speaking of hair (I did forewarn you about the deep nature of this post), June insists on "doggie ears" or "Rudolph ears" or "horse ears" almost every single day. They are the same style but the name transitions with whichever role she is taking on for the day.

In character as a dog at the library

She looks adorable, but I only wish she would let me take the hair down and wear the curls from time to time.

Darling, right? I feel a bribe coming on. I should really write a parenting book called "Bribes and More Bribes: Success from Potty Training to College Graduation."

Except it would be a lie on the potty training front. Yes, June did have that ONE successful experience, but after 10 consecutive days of potty training with no other successes, I finally waved the white diaper of surrender. I think Gwen was especially grateful as she had been the victim of a major potty accident the day before. I had June sit on the potty for around 30 minutes, all the while she was insisting she didn't have to go. After the half hour was up, I put her panties back on her and she went to the kitchen to get a snack. Not one minute later, she peed all over the kitchen floor. This was how potty training looked every day with June, but this time was especially bad and the pee was everywhere. Two seconds later, Gwen came running into the kitchen, slid on the pee, and went flying across the floor until she crashed against the fridge. Her hair, back and everything else was covered in pee. I didn't even know what to start cleaning first--June, Gwen or the deathtrap floor.

Since I admitted defeat, June has continued to show very little interest in the potty. Yesterday, however, while we were running late to something, she announced she wanted to go. So I retrieved the potty, and she and Gwen began to both try to sit on it. It was quite the fight. And then five minutes later, June got up from the potty, announced she was done (leaving a completely empty pot) and we went on our way.

I've been trying to introduce fun craft activities more often so that tv is not such a prevalent presence in our lives, but I must admit: I stink at it. However, we did recently do something the girls really enjoyed.

The girls really enjoyed putting together this scene for the wall in our kitchen. I made most of it, taking direction from my two executive decision makers. Some of the stuff I made was not up to snuff, however. June would say, "Well that looks different" when I taped many of my creations to the wall.

Speaking of different, we made this school bus out of an old oatmeal container. It does not look like a school bus at all. Did I mention I stink at this?

It's supposed to be a side view.

We had Stake Conference on Sunday, and our Stake Center is a very old building with a cry room. It was so lucky for us because we spent the entire time there. The girls loved the space, and I listened much more than I would have.

We have been continuing our tradition of watching a musical every Sunday. Recently, we watched Sound of Music and West Side Story. I must admit that we cut West Side Story short because the first half is fun and the second half is so depressing!!

Can I please be Baroness Schraeder when I grow up?

I know I'm getting older. I cry at everything. I cried during totally non-cry worthy moments in both of these movies. I cried at the dance scene at the gym in West Side Story. You know, when they are trying to out dance each other. I kept thinking--they are such good dancers, and then I started crying. I'm losing it! All I ask for is a room with a view one day, folks.

And that's a wrap.


  1. My co-worker made me explain why I was over here laughing. This is the best. You are the funniest. Your fam is the cutest. West Side Story is def only good for the first half. The Baroness wins every contest with Maria. June kills me. Gwen slays me. These are all good things. I love you.

  2. "well that looks different" hahahahahaha -- funniest line of the whole post right there. :) and it's so funny, because scott was just talking about the cry room at his building growing up, and i was like what? what's that? hahahaha.

  3. I just wanted to add that June's face when she's holding the bus is awesome...and the bus is awesome. 3D is the way to be!

  4. You are such a great mom! I love the wall idea! Seriously creative and fun. Seriously, you rock. I keep telling myself my kids may be stubborn and that just makes me stubborn. I'm going to win one of these days...

  5. I want that shiny, purple leotard.

  6. Im pretty sure I'm lactose intolerant.

  7. I love your art wall. I'm going to do that in the next house. And poor gwen. Bug bites, pee slipping, bug throwing. She's a true original.
    I was laughing about mocking the mother's day gifts and then I realized that I need to start practicing my fake pleased and delighted faces.