The Yelling List

I sometimes yell. I don't love that I do it. I've made resolutions to stop. And have even followed up on said resolutions. Honestly, it's going to be a lifelong battle for me, but I'm determined to try. Things that help--sleeping, eating and not caring about whether or not we are on time to anything, whether my children succeed at life and not caring if the house is a mess. Which of course, I care about all of those things. It reminds me of a middle school band teacher who proudly sported the sweatshirt "I Yell Because I Care". 

Don't you kids get it?????? I'M YELLING BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU INGRATES.

Anyway.

I arrived home from my trip to Utah late Sunday night. It's amazing how I was only gone for a couple of days and pretty much forgot how to take care of my people. I have three kids! They all need my help! How was I doing this before?

Needless to say, I was way behind my normal schedule Monday and feeling the stress. With my goal for no yelling in mind, I had previously asked June to help me not yell. She took this request quite seriously and seeing that I was pretty on edge most of Monday, she made some lists to help me keep track of my behavior.

All of the family was able to participate.

First, there was the "Whisper List."

No one made it onto this list. We are not quiet people.

Next came the "Talking List." This is a good list to be on. You can see by June's drawing that this list includes people who talk louder than the whisper list. She even included friends from church that she loves. Even the baby is on this list. I don't know how he made it onto this list and not the Whisper List or the Silent List, but whatever. This list is clearly where it's at. You may also note that, at one point in time, my name appeared on this list. Right on the tippity top. And then was erased.

Because I was moved. To the "Yelling List." As the sole person on the list. Next to a picture of a Pac-Man who is apparently breathing fire on everyone.

A side-by-side comparison of the three lists. Placed on a backdrop of a package of tortillas and a bag of heart-shaped noodles.. Naturally.

I'm the best.

The End.

Grandma Bonnie

My Grandma Bonnie passed away a week ago, and this past Saturday I attended the funeral in Utah. I was supposed to be in Utah for two whole days, but my flight was canceled Thursday night. There was much crying over this flight cancellation, and when American Airlines was unable to reschedule me on ANY flights Friday, I was sure I would be unable to attend the funeral Saturday morning.

My mom worked some magic, and I arrived Friday. I flew all day Friday, attended the funeral Saturday and flew home all day Sunday.

The funeral was a good punch in the gut for me. My grandma was born the year before the Great Depression. She was born into a situation where she had to learn how to work before most kids learn how to walk. She worked at her parents' store after school and sold penny candy from their store during her lunch break at school. After she graduated, she was a bookkeeper and then married my grandpa and had 7 kids. Dinner was always on the table at 5:30, and dinner consisted of an entree, sides dishes and dessert. Every single night. All of the kids were required to practice the piano BEFORE school. My mom's shift was 6:30 a.m. They all did chores after school. They all busted their tails to keep up with the expectations of the house. During all of this, my grandma was primary president and then Relief Society president. I'm tired just typing about it.

Makes me wonder if I shouldn't be doing more with my kids. Or not even more, but different.

After the funeral, we had a luncheon and slide show. I was reunited with 3829472984273 cousins. I had to introduce myself to some people because it been so long since I had seen them.

And then Heidi, Steve, my mom and I all went to BYU to walk around and get ice cream at the Creamery.

Excuse the expression on my face in the above photo. Apparently, that's what my eyes do when I get to eat Earnestly Chocolate after a decade-long hiatus.

And no, I did not wear tennis shoes to the funeral. Just to walk around BYU afterward.

Walking around BYU was amazing. I love BYU. But guess what everyone. I'm not a college student anymore. That was reaffirmed to me time and time again. I feel like I'm still 22. I'm not. I tried to be cool with the college coeds. I wasn't. I tried to walk around like I knew what I was doing or where I was going. But I didn't.

So much has changed there. So many of the buildings have been added onto or changed. The library blew my mind. The parking lots are bigger. The dorms are NICE. The BYU bookstore is completely reorganized. But luckily the Twilight Zone, which I always called the Gas Station, is untouched.

I also read a book while waiting for many different flights at many different airports. Marilla of Green Gables. Have you heard of it? Sarah McCoy wrote it, and it's a telling of Marilla's life before Anne came to GG. I loved some of it and hated some of it. If you have read it, let me know. Would love to discuss with someone.

Also, we found out today that we are having another BOY.

The End.

Going Private?

As you can see, I decided to make my blog private. I'm still having an internal debate over this because I think making a blog private takes some of the fun out of it.

In fact, I was planning to post most than ever this year. I had this goal to post 15-20 times in January--just short funny anecdotes or rants or thoughts every other day or so. My kids say lots of funny things, and our life is a bit of circus so it seems easy to post something often. In fact, I forget half of the funny things I want to post because I wait too long in between posts. So posting more often seemed to be a good idea.

Then I read this post by Bethany Mandel, and it kinda made me rethink what I'm doing with my family blog.

https://ricochet.com/585919/imagine-googling-your-name-and-finding-your-entire-childhood-online/

And I started wondering if going private was even enough. Going private doesn't save your kids' photos from being used for evil means. And even with that sort of terrible evilness aside, maybe I shouldn't be telling stories about my kids and should only stick to stories about myself.  Maybe they will see it as a major invasion of their privacy.

The thing is--I mostly think my kids are going to be glad I blogged about them. There are some great memories and pictures that they will love to look back on. But maybe they won't want everyone to know about it. And I do tend to be too much of an open book.

In fact, a former teacher of June's told me to stop telling everyone we might be moving because she was afraid my kids would be treated differently if everyone thought their stay here was temporary.

Anyway, I'm asking you all to weigh in. But to be kind too.

Thanks,
Heather

Christmas Card and Newsletter 2018

December 9, 2018

Hello All-

I’m hiding in my bedroom to write this letter. I just heard the same door be repeatedly slammed, a yell from Dan to “stop slamming the door!”, a baby running down the hallway (presumably with a diaper wrapped around his ankles--he’s known for that), and now that same baby is crying for “waa waa”. There are two girls who are supposed to be cleaning up their bedroom in order to obtain the privilege of having a mini-Christmas tree in their room, but instead I just hear them getting out more toys.

I wonder how long I can stay in here unnoticed. If I had brought the bag of Cadbury eggs from my secret candy stash in the kitchen, I could really hunker down in Thorough’s Walden-esque style. But alas, I have no eggs and will probably last a good 7 minutes. Which is probably the perfect amount of time to write a letter people will actually want to read.

We’ve had a great year, full of blessings. The big news for us is that (1) we’re pregnant (more on that later) and (2) we’re still here in New Jersey. We haven’t moved! The absence of moving is abnormal for us, and we have enjoyed having a sense of holiday traditions, i.e. doing some of the same things we did last year in this very same house. Two years in a row!

Dan continues to work for Reckitt Benckiser, doing the things he does there. He just started working at a new position doing more of the things he does there. He’s very good at these things. Just don’t ask me what they are. He retains his title as the “Fun Parent”, taking the kids down the scary slides at the water park, driving the girls an hour and a half each way to see a movie at the drive-in theater, and taking them out in the cold torture chamber known as the outdoors during a snowstorm. He has also managed to steal my title as the “Unfun Parent”. I’m about 13 weeks pregnant and have been as sick as a dog. So, Dan cooks, cleans, launders, shops, etc. There are no jobs left for me. Except “Hide in the Room Parent”, which I’ve commandeered masterfully. It doesn’t roll off the tongue like the other two titles, but it will do for now.

June is in first grade and is enjoying her first time in a mainstream classroom. She still receives plenty of services and resource classes at school, but also gets to spend a good part of her day with her first-grade class. She also has a best friend, though she has a hard time remembering her name. We mostly refer to her as the “girl with the glasses”, and I’m already a big fan. She sounds smart. June is almost always happy, but she will fight you to the death if you try to mess with her bedtime routine. Bedtime is important to all of us, so we tend to follow her lead here.

Gwen is 4 years old and not in school yet, but she does attend in her mind. She still likes to pack a backpack and lunch every morning which she carries to the bus stop every day as she wistfully watches June depart for school. Gwen is our social butterfly and can never get enough time out of the house. This is an interesting dynamic as the rest of us seem to be homebodies. She’s my big helper with Harris and for that I am grateful.

Harris is 20 months and has reached what I term “Optimal Human Status” or “OHS”. At OHS, Harris can get away with pointing at things and grunting and people actually giving him what he wants. He also has no fear of running away from our crazy crew at loud, crowded public places, which is something I can only dream of doing.

The highlight of 2018 was when we were able to travel to two family reunions this summer. We went to Las Vegas to see Dan’s family and were able to meet up with my family in Hawaii. If you ever see me in a loud, crowded public place with my crazy crew but my eyes are closed, you can bet I’m imagining I’m still in Oahu.

We are ever grateful for the birth of Jesus Christ. It is His Gospel that brings us peace during the storms of real life. We are also grateful for dear friends like you.

                                                                          Love,

                                                                          The Jolleys