Summer Moves Faster than My Hips on the Dance Floor

16 days ago I decided to stop eating sugar for awhile. I say "awhile" because the thought of putting a deadline on the thing makes me nervous and the whole point of the exercise is to help control my anxiety. Some of you may be thinking, "Heather! YOU have anxiety? I never would have thought!" And to you people, I say, "Hello random person reading my blog from France. I've always wondered who you were."

Because anybody within a 3 mile radius of me knows that Heather Jolley knows how to boogey with the Anxiety Monster.

So sugar increases anxiety. But lack thereof increases crankiness. My family is going to have a vote this weekend to see which mom/wife they prefer.

In an effort to have a treat to look forward to, I have started freezing yoplait yogurt for popsicles. I realize that it sounds just about as good as that ice cream-made-from-bananas deal that health nuts are always trying to push you to make, but it is a bit better than that.

In other news, Dan's braces came off Monday! Happy Day! He wore them for 20 months and was more than excited to get them off. Especially because he is already quite youthful looking and adding braces to that beautiful baby face has meant that he has often been stopped at the temple and other places to see if he is one of the youth (ages 12-18 in our church) instead of an actual, bona fide adult chaperone.

Worth every penny!

Gwen turned 2 yesterday, and the phone on my camera decided it wouldn't focus for anything, so these pics are the best I can do unfortunately.

Gwen's nickname at our house is "Destructo". There is not a sand castle in the state of Florida that stands a chance of survival when she arrives at that beach. She does, however, like to help clean up toys, and that makes up for the fact that she has ripped up more library books and colored on more walls than I currently care to discuss.

She is sweet and cuddly and just likes to be included. She runs across the room just to throw her arms around my neck and wants to stay there a long time. It's wonderful. She hates being stuck inside and still loves to carry around a good stick when she can find one.

I've been lucky enough to sub in nursery the past few weeks, and typically we only have Gwen and her best friend, Aaliyah, come. It's a pretty sweet deal for me.

My nursery rules are as follows: no one hurt anyone and let's have two snack times.

June continues with swim lessons, and I totally enjoy the free show that comes with it. Her teacher is a saintly college kid who swam competitively for the best swim school in the country, and yet I don't think he's ever had as challenging a time in the pool as he does at 8:30 a.m. on Mondays and Wednesdays with June. She LOVES the water and LOVES swimming, but struuggglllessss following directions and leaving her lala land personality behind. He often asks her, "June, do you understand what I just said?" to which she replies, "Yes!" but we all know that she doesn't. It's comical. That being said, she's actually learning a TON and is a pretty darn good swimmer.

And the miscellany. Lots of trips to the store, library and playing in water continue. We were able to take a couple of friends to the library a couple of weeks ago, and the girls aren't as satisfied with the experience without them now. Dan is obviously the fun parent who goes out and does the fun things and I sit inside and watch. I wonder why the prefer him? I'll never know.

The Worst Part Was When They Closed Their Eyes

Today's winner receives $200 Heather Bucks for naming the movie the today's blog title comes from.

This summer has been terrific and terrible. Exhausting and exhilirating!! Great and full of His Grace.

First up, we had June evaluated by a child psychologist because she struggles in so many different areas. June is 4 years old and cannot use the potty, cannot jump with both feet off the ground, struggles in her communication and loves playing by herself in her own world. After debating back and forth for two years, we finally decided to have her tested for a bunch of different things. The verdict? June was diagnosed with autism. She's in good company because she has two cousins--Heidi's son Reagan and Steve's son Joshua--who also have autism. It wasn't much of a surprise when she was diagnosed. Oddly enough, it was a relief to hear a licensed professional say that she saw what I saw. I have literally been losing my mind trying to figure June out.

Now that the words have had time to settle a bit, I have moments where I'm sad. But there are so many things that June is super good at, and she's honestly the most enjoyable kid I've ever met. So I know I'm lucky to have her. She adds a lot to our family.

Shortly after finding out, we headed to a Beck Family Reunion, which is probably the best thing we could have done. Unfortunately, I never take a lot of pictures at important things, so this is all I have:

The drive from Tampa to Destin. We stopped in Tampa to hear a couple of Dan's young men give farewell talks. I don't know if I've ever seen him so proud. Even after all of the eating contests I've won.

The house my mom rented was divided into two parts, but she rented the whole thing. The downstairs crew used this staircase to come up to the common area where everywhere hung out. Downstairs crew included Heidi's family, my family and Steve's family. The party group, you might say. Or the loud group, you might more accurately say. I can see why we were placed in the basement.

And of course, we had to document this important moment in Heidi's life. Deflating a water toy during the last hurried hours of the last morning. The day that Heidi and I were really stressed out about cleaning everything up and moving everything out and our kids couldn't understand why they couldn't go to the beach and swim and mess everything up again. We are such meanies.

Other aspects of our summer:

Lots of time at the library. We brought a friend with us that day and he stretched out and read and June sat there and read and they were both content for a really long time. It was awesome.

Summer hours catch up with us quick. June has been found sleeping on tile at 6 p.m. more than once this summer.

Gwen's cute new haircut. The guy at Great Clips recommended an a-line haircut, and it's so adorable.

And plenty of time in timeout. For both girls. At 7 a.m.

Locked Out.

Today we set out for June's weekly gymnastics class. Or perhaps I should say June's/Rudolph's/Fluffy the Dog/Huey the Hippo/Figaro the Cat's gymnastics class, thankyouverymuch. I helped June put her leotard on, braided her hair and pushed the girls into the garage to get into the car. The car was locked, and I turned around to go back into the house to get my keys. The door to the house was locked too. What? I still don't know how this happened. I don't know how I locked the door in the garage without my key. At this point, that feeling sank in. You know, the "locked out of the house" feeling. It's quite similar to the "dropped my phone in the toilet" feeling, yet not quite as severe as the "showed up to the airport without my wallet" feeling. I think some people call it "hopeless doom."

I ran to the front of the house. Locked. I ran to the side of the house and assessed the fence situation. Not open-able from the outside. I dragged a chair from the garage (that we realllly need to take back to the church at some point) and set it up outside the fence so I could jump over it. In a dress. The chair sank 4 inches into the ground under my weight (which just added to my overall awesome feeling), and there was just no way that was a viable option.

Dan has a temple recommend interview tonight, and he was planning on working late to finish a project and then go straight to the interview from work. I knew that he would come home at any point if I asked him to, but I didn't want to ask that. It's really hard for him to have an open evening to schedule an appointment as it is, and I knew he didn't have another open night for several weeks.

I wanted to ask a neighbor to come help me, but nobody was home. I even thought about asking one of the neighbors waaay down the street that I haven't met yet, but I didn't know how that would go over. "Hi, you haven't met me but I promise I live nearby. Will you help me break into my house?"

So I made a plan. First, I called the gymnastics center and told them June wouldn't be coming. I'm pretty sure her teacher is throwing a party for the next several days in honor of this occasion.

Then I decided that the girls and I would walk to the park. Where we would die.

A bit pessimistic perhaps, but it was HOT outside. I was sweating like crazy. I figured we could go to the park for an hour and then walk about a mile down the road to a Walgreens or Subway for dinner/drinks/bathroom. And then hopefully a neighbor would be home. I knew that there and back was a lot of walking for the girls, but it's all I knew to do.

We started on the trek for the park. I didn't mention to June that we weren't going to gymnastics anymore, and she didn't seem to notice. Sometimes her oblivion really pays off.

On our way, a man working on someone's lawn stopped me. "Are you Mrs. Johnson?" he asked. I told him no, I wasn't. He explained to me that he was doing a job for her but hadn't met her yet. I explained to him that we were on our way to the park because we were locked out of house. And then he told me he used to be a locksmith and had some tools in his truck. And so we went back to the house, and he started working.

You can barely see what is happening here, but I didn't want him to feel weird with me taking a picture.

He didn't have all of his tools and our lock was tricky, he told us. He had been working for about 20 minutes when I told him, "I know you have another job to do. Don't worry about this. We will figure something out."

And then he told me, "Honey, I have all the time in the world to help people."

Man alive. Tears sprang right to my eyes, but more importantly, those words stung my heart. Stung, I say, because I rush too much. Helping people can seem a nuisance to me. 

It was about this time that he noticed that the hinges to the door were on the outside. "WHY DIDN'T I NOTICE THAT BEFORE?" he exclaimed. He ran to his truck, got out a few tools, and we were inside in 10 more minutes.

I feel like the Lord is really aware of my little family. We are pretty much a huge mess and rather consistently contentious and disorganized and whiny, but the Lord helps us every single day.

In other news, my girls continue to be nutso, in the good way.

June:

I did this twisty hairstyle on June one day last week and have never been able to emulate it since. I have made several attempts, but they have all been duds. I loved this first one though.

June had a pajama day at her school this week. She was very excited about her "pajama party", and I was so jealous that I managed to stay in my jammies a good part of the day as well. 

Gwen:

Gwen is SPUNKY. She's a definite daredevil and HATES being inside. And the average outside temp is 86 with tons of humidity. Ugh. We still manage to go to the park several times a week, usually first thing in the morning after taking June to school. She throws a fit every time we start to head back home.

My sweet, easy shopping partner has been replaced by this maniac who won't sit in the cart. She tries to jump out every chance she gets, or she tries for the oh-so-comfortable arms around Mommy's neck while still standing in the cart and while Mom somehow blindly pushes the cart around the store. She has recently discovered that she can ride on the outside of the cart but gives no warning when she is done with this position. She'll just jump down at any moment, seconds away from being run over by a cart. It's an exhilarating experience, complete with many disapproving looks from strangers who apparently just moved here from a planet where kids don't exist.

She also takes great pride in dressing herself.

Dan:

Dan has been spending a ton of time cleaning our crazy yard. We're in that awkward place where we don't want to be the junky neighbors on the street (though that's going to be a hard title for us to shake) but we also don't want to put a ton of money into our grass-less yard in a house that we don't own. We have raked about 40 bags of leaves so far, and Dan has done most of the work.

Me:

I'm really enjoying life in Jacksonville. I miss my Tampa peeps, and I really miss the warmer beach experience the gulf provides as opposed to the ocean. But my life here is calmer since I don't have to work so much. Plus, my husband is just the type of guy who likes making me happy. I don't know how this grouch won him over, but my Mother's Day was spent being pampered. I had so much yummy food and after church, I spent most of the day reading a book in bed. It. Was. Awesome.

Quotables.

Real quotes from the past couple of weeks:

June: Mom! Poop smells GOOOOD!

June, on repeat, for 50 straight minutes at gymnastics (you know, while all of the other kids are actually participating): I'M RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER!

Me: June, should we march out to the car?

June: Yes! March! March! March! March! March Twenty Six! (her birthday)

It's been awhile. It's mostly due to the fact that I've been pondering many deep subjects about which I wish to execute a pensive, thought-provoking discussion. It's an election year, you know. Much to discuss. Like why Gwen is constantly covered in welts, scratches, snot and stinky diapers.

Little girl played in the backyard a loooong time yesterday while I caught up on important reading (catalogs that had come in the mail from which I took pictures of everything I don't want for Mother's Day and sent them to Heidi, so we could mock them) and when I looked up, I would find her and June filling up old plastic Easter eggs with rain water that had pooled in the back of her plastic car and trying to drink them, chasing her "pet" lizards, gathering sticks and throwing them across the yard and other festivities. This girl is a wild one. This morning when she got up, she had a few huge bug bites on her hands and legs and a puffy eye that got better as the day went on. And after throwing a caterpillar in the garage at me, she was just as happy and scrappy as could be.

I don't know if you can see how swollen her already-chubby little hand is, but that's a bug bite there.

In other Gwen news, it's always a delight taking her to wait with me during June's gymnastics class. Gwen climbs all over everything, trying to have her own gymnastics class, but we won't call it that in case they charge us more.

My face and attitude each week quickly descend from happy to frazzled to downright frustrated within the hour time frame. And then we have to leave, which involves my dragging two limp 25-pound noodles across the parking lot.

She's definitely not a baby anymore and can even sport a ponytail. So cute for my scrappy little Scout-like (To Kill A Mockingbird) girl.

Speaking of hair (I did forewarn you about the deep nature of this post), June insists on "doggie ears" or "Rudolph ears" or "horse ears" almost every single day. They are the same style but the name transitions with whichever role she is taking on for the day.

In character as a dog at the library

She looks adorable, but I only wish she would let me take the hair down and wear the curls from time to time.

Darling, right? I feel a bribe coming on. I should really write a parenting book called "Bribes and More Bribes: Success from Potty Training to College Graduation."

Except it would be a lie on the potty training front. Yes, June did have that ONE successful experience, but after 10 consecutive days of potty training with no other successes, I finally waved the white diaper of surrender. I think Gwen was especially grateful as she had been the victim of a major potty accident the day before. I had June sit on the potty for around 30 minutes, all the while she was insisting she didn't have to go. After the half hour was up, I put her panties back on her and she went to the kitchen to get a snack. Not one minute later, she peed all over the kitchen floor. This was how potty training looked every day with June, but this time was especially bad and the pee was everywhere. Two seconds later, Gwen came running into the kitchen, slid on the pee, and went flying across the floor until she crashed against the fridge. Her hair, back and everything else was covered in pee. I didn't even know what to start cleaning first--June, Gwen or the deathtrap floor.

Since I admitted defeat, June has continued to show very little interest in the potty. Yesterday, however, while we were running late to something, she announced she wanted to go. So I retrieved the potty, and she and Gwen began to both try to sit on it. It was quite the fight. And then five minutes later, June got up from the potty, announced she was done (leaving a completely empty pot) and we went on our way.

I've been trying to introduce fun craft activities more often so that tv is not such a prevalent presence in our lives, but I must admit: I stink at it. However, we did recently do something the girls really enjoyed.

The girls really enjoyed putting together this scene for the wall in our kitchen. I made most of it, taking direction from my two executive decision makers. Some of the stuff I made was not up to snuff, however. June would say, "Well that looks different" when I taped many of my creations to the wall.

Speaking of different, we made this school bus out of an old oatmeal container. It does not look like a school bus at all. Did I mention I stink at this?

It's supposed to be a side view.

We had Stake Conference on Sunday, and our Stake Center is a very old building with a cry room. It was so lucky for us because we spent the entire time there. The girls loved the space, and I listened much more than I would have.

We have been continuing our tradition of watching a musical every Sunday. Recently, we watched Sound of Music and West Side Story. I must admit that we cut West Side Story short because the first half is fun and the second half is so depressing!!

Can I please be Baroness Schraeder when I grow up?

I know I'm getting older. I cry at everything. I cried during totally non-cry worthy moments in both of these movies. I cried at the dance scene at the gym in West Side Story. You know, when they are trying to out dance each other. I kept thinking--they are such good dancers, and then I started crying. I'm losing it! All I ask for is a room with a view one day, folks.

And that's a wrap.

Friends and Family

I've been sick. I haven't had a voice in 6 days. Daniel has seemed a bit perkier as a result, but I'm so over it by now. I trudged along in sickness for the first several days because I had commitments with YW and other things, but yesterday vomit was added to the mix from both June and me. Vomit is the next level, right? Dan came home from work yesterday to find me lying on the bathroom floor, begging for mercy from the stomach gods. I had also been cleaning up June's mess in between my own issues, and I couldn't take another minute of it. I have tried so much to be the strong, independent wife a husband who works and goes to school full-time needs, but when Dan talked about getting off early the next day to come help me, I broke. "Please," I pleaded. "Please do not leave me alone with them!" I said, my eyes darting between Gwen, who was taking each dvd out of its case and throwing it on the floor and June, who wasn't sure if she should let herself throw up or try to swallow it back down. I must have looked pretty frightened because Dan immediately emailed his boss and explained the situation and was able to stay home with us today. I took two glorious naps in the middle of the day and finally feel a little better.

Dan is a great nurse. He pampers. He goes to the store and gets your favorite movies. He buys multiple types of medicine to "see which one works best." He cooks, he cleans.

I am a terrible nurse. I don't like being around sick people. I'm documenting this scene of Dan taking care of me today so that I can remind myself for the next time he's sick. Because whenever anyone in my family is sick, it really throws off my schedule and I get annoyed. Incredulous statements such as,  "Well maybe just go to school/work, and see if you feel better" and then "you're still feeling sick? but it's been THREE hours!!" have been known to fly out of my mouth.

In the midst of my sickness, however, I was able to keep some priorities straight, i.e. discuss a fave home reno blog with my sister.

The sign of true friendship is the ability to carry on multiple conversations, ranging from serious to trivial, at any given time.

Speaking of friends, my friend Cherilee and her friend Danielle came to Jacksonville last week. We watched conference together and were able to hit up the beach with Gwen while June was at school.

We were doing some calculating and realized that Cher and I have known each other for thirteen years. I moved into her apartment, hardly knowing anyone when I was a mere 18 year old baby at BYU. Now we are both old crotchety ladies who like to go to bed early. It's nice to have someone who understands that about you.

My sister also visited us this week. I have ONE picture from the visit. And here it is: four cousins in the bathtub after 5 hours of beaching it up together. We had a great time, and my kids like nothing more than to be with their cousins. End of story.

Gwen is the cutest and crankiest baby. This pic sums it all up.

June started two activities up this week: swimming lessons and gymnastics. We're hoping these activities will help her in the physical coordination and development department. She still can't jump with two feet off the ground and land on her feet. She has a lot of other issues in that department too, and we're trying to figure it out.

Her swim teacher is a dream. June's first week she was the only kid in her class, and I loved the one-on-one aspect (without paying for the one-on-one aspect). The teacher quickly saw how hard it is to carry on a conversation with June and asked me for some thoughts along the way. She summed up June with the following sentence. "This girl is a character, but I bet she wins over a lot of hearts wherever she goes." Yep. Yep.

And from her primary teacher this week, "Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of June?? Really hard!!" Yep. Yep. So while I admit to taking horrible photos, June gets to share a little in the blame of the constant blurriness.

Other miscellany:

Working for a grocery store has its perks. Dan brings home sample items vendors bring into the headquarters quite often, which has only been increased by the fact that his company is moving to a different office across town. They are trying to get rid of everything, and we've had multiple dinners where we just have taste testings.

This is how June prefers to ride a cart at the store, and you know what I say--no problem!! Gwen is in jammies because we have all been sick.

Spring pictures. Too many comments. Another piece of evidence that June might be the hardest kid to photograph in the entire world.

That is a grape on her eye. The whole thing has a "Clarice" feel to it, don't ya think?

Happy Tuesday! And don't you forget it.

I'm going to stop writing now because I'm obviously sick and totally unfunny but wanted to keep the ol' blog updated.