The Truth Is I Like Little Kids.

Whenever I babysat in my teen years, I would literally count down the minutes until the parents of my charges would come home. Starting the minute they left. And if they came home later than they had told me, I would get upset. Not outwardly, because I needed to keep making money. But inwardly, I was seething.

I didn't like little kids! I didn't know what to do with them. They were whiny. They had lots of questions. I couldn't be bothered.

When I was on the hospital bed and ready to push June out, I said to Dan, "I don't think I really want to be a mom." That is a true story.

My kids have been a great pleasant surprise. Not immediately, and not all at once. I mean yes, of course I loved my babies as they came to me. But I was still convinced I was not a little kid person. In my mind, I was waiting until they were older when we could have better conversations and fun experiences together. Because little kids are still whiny and they still have lots of questions and I still don't like being bothered.

(June and Gwen enjoy hot chocolate after a cold day outside. With marshmallows AND whipped cream. Of course.)

But something has happened this past year. Maybe it's that I have a baby that I can actually enjoy because I'm not pregnant with another one. Maybe it's because my kids are great ages for making friends and for playing and they are each other's best friends.

(Beck, self portrait.)

Maybe it's the homeschooling. It has made me get to know them in a different way. I used to send them to school and be relieved at the quieter time when they were gone. Now there is no relief and no real quiet time. I had to settle into that feeling and grow into it.

(Harris, self-portrait. Apparently, my kids steal my phone a lot.)

Now, I will always be the kind of person who needs alone time and time to recharge and all that. We hire babysitters and go on dates and take our kids to activities and to play with friends. We all have boundaries.

But I really love being around my little kids.

Here are some pictures of me growing up. I don't know why I wasn't in more Gap commercials. Or any Gap commercials.

That humongous duffel bag looks convenient!

Why was I in such a bad mood when I was having such a good hair day?

Here's a pic of RIGHT NOW. June reading over my shoulder while I blog. She just said to me, "Maybe you were upset in that last photo because the school bully had picked on you that day."

Probably, June. Probably.

Happy Sabbath!

THE END.